Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
