she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
