I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
