it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
i believe in u and ur pee
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
