office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
