You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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