Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
