Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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