She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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