so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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