I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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