i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
