So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
