I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
