So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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