Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
