Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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