I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
