People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Randomize
