Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
