I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
