apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
