people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
