we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
