OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
