There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
