so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
