so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
