Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
