Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
