So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
NoShamevember. You game?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
