Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
So here I am, sexting at work.
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