Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
