do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
