omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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