Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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