I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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