the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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