I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
