Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
My vagina is officially offended.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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