i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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