I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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