My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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