dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
