Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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