Porn is love you can see.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
He literally asked permission to hit on me
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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