if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
