"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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