is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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