Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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