just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
