No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I lost the right to judge tonight
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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